Vertigo : 

Everyone has been asking me : ” Hey cally, why have you been missing in action? I don’t see you in clubs anymore, not like how you used to be.” 

” Where have you been? I don’t see you around anymore. “

” What happen to you, party animal? “

So many questions, so many invites but hey I guess i’ve changed. 

Changed as in, I don’t club as often anymore, I don’t hang out as much anymore. I’ve learned from the past. I remember how it was back then, my routine was partying, going out every single day - coming back during the wee hours, the sessions & so on. Honestly, those were the most unforgettable memories but it fucked up my life. I’ve learned that friends come and go, I used to have so many friends where we would hang out, party or i’ll bump into anywhere but now? I can count my friends. Its so hard to have true friends. It doesn’t matter to me at this moment cause i’m really happy that i’m blessed for having such wonderful family members and not to forget, the boyfriend. They’re all I need & that’s all that matters. I’m not up for any drama / fake friends relationship, seriously I have better things to do. 

I’m just a little afraid to let / accept someone in and that’s cause of the past of what i’ve been through. Sigh, I suck at making conversations these days.

& sometimes, I get a little confused. Am I just making my own assumption about certain things / …. I don’t know. I’m the type where sometimes, I do not know how to express my emotions/ feelings. 

There comes a point in my life when I realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.